The Superhero at Home

The Superhero at Home

As I walked down the hall of my son’s elementary school the other day, I noticed hand-made posters on the walls of pretend newspapers called “The Me News.”  The posters were supposed to be the front page of a mythical daily paper that told all about the kid who created it; for example, the child’s birthday, favorite sport, and what he or she wants to be when they grow up.  They were also asked to each list a hero and the reasons they found that person heroic. Most kids noted people who are larger than life, like Michael Phelps (because he won lots of gold medals), Albert Einstein (because he was smart), and Justin Timberlake (because he can sing and dance).  And some even went so far as to idolize the likes of Spiderman, Magneto, and Wonder Woman.  But one kid seemed to put a little more thought into picking his champion.  Instead of wracking his brain for some extraordinary being, he simply wrote, “My hero is my mom, because she listens to me and makes me feel safe.”

This caught me off guard.  I know this kid, and even though he’s a good person who seems to have his head on straight, I wouldn’t have pegged him as someone philosophical enough to see the value of good parenting at age 10.  I mean, come on!  Can there really be such a child?

I decided to find out for myself, starting in my own home.  That night, after our bedtime reading ritual, I told my third grade son that we were going to play a new game called “That’s What I Like About You,” where we each say one thing we like about the other.

I went first.  “I like your sense of humor,” I said. “You have the ability to find comedy in almost anything.  So if I’m sad, chances are good that you can cheer me up.”  He was very pleased with this assessment, and I think surprised that I was so honest. “Okay, your turn,” I prodded. 

He pondered for a moment, playing with the frayed edge of what used to be his security blanket, then looked me in the eye and said, “I like that you make me do the right thing.”  Now it was my turn to be mute for the better part of a minute.  I couldn’t speak because the sting in my eyes was contributing to the lump in my throat.  It was all I could do to not fall off the bed.

If you take the time to listen, sometimes the honesty of a child hits you square in the heart.  On the surface my son’s statement appears to be all about him and what he likes, but the subtext tells a deeper story: I know I’m not perfect, but I count on you to make me better.  I can’t think of a bigger leap of faith that anyone takes for anything else.

In the following weeks, we played more rounds of “That’s What I Like About You,” and I have to admit that every evaluation my son had of me was not some perfect pearl of wisdom.  Most of the time he said things like “I like that brown coat you sometimes wear,” or “I like that Grammy is your mom,” or “I like that you let me watch TV more than my friends.”  (That one I wasn’t so proud of.)  But every once in a while a glimmer of insight innocently peeks out.  The latest one being, “I like that you say what you think is right.”  Now, for anyone who doesn’t know me, that statement taken out of context could mean a lot of different things.  But to fill in the blanks, I am politically active in local government and our school district, so he has seen me lobby for educational causes, as well as go before City Council to plead for something as simple as a sidewalk.  So what he’s saying is, I like that you stand up for what you believe in.  I like that about me, too, but I never would’ve guessed he notices that trait, let alone admire it.  I can only hope that he admires it enough to one day acquire it.

So returning to my question, can there really be a child who “gets it,” in terms of what we’re trying to accomplish as parents?  The answer is yes.  In fact, if you ask your child what he thinks of you (and you really listen to his answer), you might even find such a kid in your own home. 

As for the superhero mom I read about at school, I ran into her at the grocery store shortly after that.  “Did you know that your son thinks you’re a hero?”  I asked.

She just laughed at me.  “I seriously doubt that,” she replied.  “Last week I had to ground him for fighting with his brother.”  She hurried off before I had a chance to tell her that her son’s edition of “The Me News” was dated yesterday.

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